The Old Man's Confession

“Aaru drink your milk, don’t go outside until ayah comes” Preeti was shouting as per her daily routine. Arpita’s only answer was “Yes mummy” “Ok mummy” and nothing else. Arpita was very happy and excited than usual and it was a surprise for Preeti to see her daughter get ready so quickly in the morning without demanding, crying, pleading and making any fuss. Preeti knows the reason behind her happiness. “Aaru hold ayah’s hands when you cross the road”
“Ok mummy, Bye”

Today was Arpita’s last exam in school after which she would go to her grandma’s place. She would be there for a month- playing in the sand with village kids, jumping on the rice sacks at home, eat a lot of candies without her mum’s knowledge, watch her favorite cock fight her grandpa would specially arrange for her and more than all eat delicious food made by her grandma and sleep listening to her lullaby and bed time stories.

It was really difficult for Preeti to make Arpita study the previous night as she was too excited about the trip. Her grade 1 books were scattered all over her room, she made sure everything was in place before she locked her house and left for work. Akash said he would pick her up from work in the evening and then they’ll be leaving for their village. Things were all packed the previous night so there was nothing much to be done other than to refresh themselves before they leave-Preeti recalled this in her mind for the n th time.

Preeti like any other mother always wanted her child to grow up in the place where she was brought up; she wanted her to enjoy every little thing she enjoyed during her childhood and this 1 month is all the time they could spare for their child’s happiness. Akash would anyway return in a week’s time and Preeti in 15 days. Arpita being very close to her grandma never bothered about staying without her parents.

Something that would always bring tears to Preeti was when she saw how detached her child was with her grandpa. To be frank Arpita hated her grandpa… but for no reason. Preeti’s mum or even Akash had failed to notice this; her father himself doesn’t know that Preeti is aware of this. He is very soft in nature and has not even raised his voice in front of the child. He is the person who’ll be more excited than anyone else to receive Arpita and during every visit he expects he could at least hug the child before she leaves. Preeti tried her best to convince Arpita every time before they go to their native. She would say “Aaru you know this time grandpa told he’ll take you to the circus where you can see elephants playing football, birds riding bicycle, lions and tigers……”
Arpita would interrupt curiously “Mummy won’t they harm us?”
“No, Aaru they are well trained and so they won’t harm you, there will be people around to take care of all that and you know grandpa is so brave that he used to deal with all those fierce bulls during the festive season. He always wins the cup, he’s so brave. This time I’ll tell him to share all those experiences with you, you’ll like it”
The moment she hears about her grandpa she would turn her head away unwillingly and would say “No mummy its ok, I’ll listen only to grandma’s stories, I don’t like grandpa and his stories are very boring”
“You shouldn’t say that dear, he loves you so much, he gives you so many gifts every time, remember he gave you that pink dress last time and you liked it so much”
“No mummy you forgot, grandma gave that dress and not grandpa”
Preeti thought it was meaningless to expect a kid understand all this, rather she thought she should let her spend more time with him and make her realize herself and let the love develop gradually.

Arpita was very excited to see her grandma, Preeti noticed her dad watch the girl longingly, his eyes filled with passion and expectations. In the evenings she left for a temple nearby with her mother expecting Arpita to spend some time with her grandpa, but she rather did things herself than to call her grandpa for help. At such times he would pick the ball for her, offer her some chocolates, give her some small gifts and do whatever he could to impress this small girl. In return she hardly would have paid attention. Whenever Arpita plays he would be in the garden watching her playing, while eating he’ll be watching her nodding her head slowly like a doll to her grandma’s story and wherever she is he followed her. Everyday he would wait for Arpita to sleep and then he would go and kiss the girl on her cheek before he sleeps. Seeing all this, Preeti thought there should be something done seriously to stop her behaving like this.

Next day morning Preeti heard her parents talking seriously about something. She stopped to listen
“Please don’t bother yourself with all such silly thoughts, Arpita is still too young to understand all this” said Preeti’s mother.

“No, God is punishing me for what I did to my child Preeti. She was such an obedient daughter, but I hardly cared about her. She always used to come to me whenever she got a rank in her school or during her birthdays to get blessings from me. I don’t even remember kissing my child. I always thought Ravi [Preeti’s brother] is going to support me and gave 1st preference to him. I still remember boasting about Ravi to the village people when he got an offer from American University. I used to say he is my only heir, the king of this house. He promised to come back and be with me but now he hardly remembers us. His children might never know that they had a grandpa when they grow up”
His cheeks were shinning, completely covered with lines of his tears. “I wish to take care of Arpita like how I should have been to Preeti but the child who plays even with our servant maid doesn’t even turns her head towards me. Those days Preeti never used to be in my mind and I would have not even spent half of the time I had spent with Ravi. I was blinded by my selfish thoughts that only sons can support a father and daughters can never do that. What a shame on me…”

“Let me go and bring Arpita here and I’ll make her talk to you. She’ll listen to me”

“No, No” He stopped her. “Don’t force the child. I deserve this for what I did to my daughter. I can see Preeti in Arpita. I’m happy watching the child. Let the child come to me whenever she likes me. She’s the queen of this house, the new queen, let her do all she wishes to do and I should never see her crying. ”

Preeti stood there frozen with tears. She had always longed for her dad’s love, she loved to call herself a dad’s child but she never got a chance. She wiped her tears and went to drop Akash in the railway station. All the way back her childhood days were flashing in her memory. She never expected that her father would realize this, as it was common there for people to give more preference to sons than daughters.

On reaching home she saw her father on his chair again, smiling and admiring Arpita and the way she was dressing her Barbie. The passion and love she missed from him was glistening in the tears stagnating in his eyes.